Are You Dependent on the Church? (Guest Post by Kyle Reed)
Last month, we introduced you to Kyle Reed and the upcoming Mentor Me Project. Kyle was nice enough to stop by, and further discuss the relationship of mentoring and the church. Don’t forget to check out Kyle’s always insightful blog, thoughtsaboutnothing.com, and follow him on Twitter @kylelreed.
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Should the church be a place of dependence or independence? I think this is an important question to ask yourself. Have we become reliant on the church to meet our every need or have we moved to independence from the church (physical building or system) to move out into the community?
I have a lot of conversations about mentoring, one question that continues to come up regularly is “what does the church have to offer?” This usual response is silence. Truth be told, there is not much offered in regards to mentoring. Most would view this as a problem, I would view it as a very positive thing.
The church cannot have mentor programs. That is a bold statement, but one that I am starting to see more and more. The problem with the church organizing mentor programs and outreaches is it turns the church into doing the work and the people just showing up. That is not what a mentor relationship really looks like. Mentoring is not a set time, an hour long meeting that has an agenda. Mentoring consist of patience, awkwardness, words spoken in love, time, energy, effort, and most importantly conversation about life. The church cannot facilitate these times. Sure it can provide a system or structure to give you a mentor, but it cannot make that mentor relationship. Instead it is on our shoulders to do this. To find the needy, the ones seeking guidance and help, the ones that are looking to learn. We are called to mentor and to be mentored.
Who are you dependent on?
*kyle
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For more updates or questions about the Mentor Me Project or mentoring in general, check it the site:MentorMeProject.com, Twitter: @MentorMeProject, or email kyle@MentorMeProject.com .
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Nice post, Kyle. I wouldn't agree with your bold statement: "The church cannot have mentor programs." I don't agree because I'm not going with the same definition of "church." Church for me is all believer in Christ. I think I'm hearing what you're saying… you're meaning that mentoring shouldn't be dependent on church leaders. In that sense, I totally agree.
Growing up in the ministry, I've seen first how what's expected of church leaders. The primary difference right now between church leaders and the rest of Christians is that church leaders show up on Sunday to give instead of get. That should be true of everyone though. But then again, maybe that's why they're the leaders.
The dependence on other junk (including sermons, study groups, even mentors) is insane. We're dependent on God. Yes, God uses these in remarkable ways, but we're solely dependent on what God is doing, not on anything else.
I love your initiative, Kyle, to get out and do something about this by starting this mentor project instead of just whining about not having something for you. I once thought it was entitlement mindset was mostly a young person's issue. I've realized more and more, though, that it's just an immaturity issue no matter the age. I know I have to constantly look to God to keep me in check on this.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
I can definitely see both sides of the argument. When you start a church program, it has major potential to become just that: a program. I think what Kyle is trying to do is to create a mentoring attitude beyond the church walls.
However, I see your view of the church as the people (Which it absolutely is) and you can't remove the mentoring out of the church.
Great thoughts Marshall!