MMH5 – Five Ways to Handle a Downpour of Rain After a Church Service
The Monday Morning High Five
Continuing our list of all things 5 to hopefully bring a smile to your Monday.
You’re in church, the pastor is preaching, and then you notice it. Maybe it was a flash of lightning, or a rolling thunder growl, or the pitter patter of drops on the window; but you realize that the sermon is about done, and it is a torrential downpour of rain outside. What do you do? I figured that I would present to you a point system to tell just how well you handle the rain after the service. This is also taking into account that unless you’re the Penguin or Mary Poppins, chances are you don’t bring an umbrella everywhere you go.
photo by consumerfriendly
So here are five ways people handle a downpour of rain after the church service:
1. The Sacrifice (35 points) - This is where one person, called, “The Chosen One”, is picked either by popular vote, a drawing of the shortest straw, or volunteered to be the one to face the rain, go out to the car by themselves, and bring it back to the rest of the group. (extra +15 points if you are your family’s Chosen One. +20 if you convince someone else to be the family’s Chosen One.)
2. The Olympian (25 points) – Here, the parties involved sprint as fast as possible across the parking lot. Also, it is expected that they hurdle puddles and cars when applicable. (+10 points if you are humming the Olympic theme song while running/hurdling. +50 points if done in heels.)
3. The Superman (20 points) – A coat is great to use as cover; except when it’s raining it doesn’t protect the most vital and least rain resistant part of your body: the head. The Superman is when you take the coat and hold it above your head while the tail of the coat waves heroically in the breeze of your run. (+1,000 points if your coat already looks like Superman’s cape. -30 points if you trip and fall while doing this. Very anti-Superman)
4. The Wait Out (30 points) – Sure it’s raining now, but it’s got to end…sometime. You make the choice to wait in the protection of the church building for the rain to let up. Here lies the ultimate battle of man vs nature. Who can hold out longer? You or the rain? (+25 points if you wait out the pastor. -55 points if you have to “bunker down for the night”)
5. The Book Cover (10 points) – This is similar to The Superman, but in place of a coat, you use a book or notebook instead (-5 points if you use your child’s Sunday school project. -20 points if you use your Bible. Shame on you. +10 if you own a moleskin large enough for proper covering.)
So, how do you stack up? Do you have any other ways you handle rain after a church service?
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Very creative.:) Well, yesterday morning my husband (the sacrifice) went to pick up the car for me. I came out a different door and feared he wouldn't see me. So…..i plodded through the rain in my heels to find him (perhaps the walking Olympian?). But I did have the blessing of a tiny umbrella to cover my head…my legs, not so much.:)
What about you, Brett?
haha – "the walking Olympian"
I'm definitely an olympian, and sometimes Superman.
6. The Hippie (11 points). You strip down and frolic among the drops until your ride (#1) arrives or the rain (#4) stops. If you keep nothing but your black Sunday socks on, you earn 7 more points. If you put your belt back on your waist after nuding up, you earn 12 more points.
I've never done this, though. I'm more of the Sacrifice or the Olympian.
My recent post Fighting a Case of the Mondays with District 9
Haha hilarious! Yeah, remind me to not visit your church when it's raining.
You are SO not the Sacrifice! Brett, we park in the parking lot furthest from the church, and it's an uphill walk to get back to the car. We do this because traffic at NPCC is SO bad after church, and this is the most likely way we get out in under 20 minutes. No way is he going to drive down to the church to get me.
He is the Olympian though, and I am in heels. Combined score of 100 points?
My recent post Bokeh and a Love Note for My Camera
Haha!! Thanks for keeping Tom honest Meghan. He talks a big game.
And 100 points! 150, if you get Tom to wear heels too. =)
Never.
Unless the price is right….maybe.
Pwned by the wifey.
Happens to the best of us.
My recent post Taking Responsibility For Your Life – This Is No Time To Pray
The genius (500 points) this is when a genius (like myself) goes to the lost and found and grabs an umbrella and uses it for the night and brings it back later.
This happened to me Saturday night at church. It was pouring and no one was expecting it, except for me. At least that is what it looked like. I grabbed one of the 50 umbrellas in the lost and found and just strolled outside and didn't feel a drop. FTW
Nice! Definitely +500 for that. (-$1,000 in fines & +30 days in in if you forget to bring it back, and are charged with petty theft) =)
Become the ultimate sacrifice with a brain. Offer to go get the car for your lady friend and in the process offer to take her purse- etc.- to the car with you. Use her purse as the head covering, as you run to the car. At this point and time you have combined "The Sacrifice" and "The Olympian." Then of course the creativity behind and just the sheer genius!
My recent post Hold Please?
Awesome! extra +250 combo move!
I’m the olympian IN HEELS!!
‘Ditch’ Dodging cars,puddles,raindrops are easier if they aren’t there! You leave church at the 1st signs of a storm-hope lightening doesn’t getcha!(-100 for skipping out of the sermon to beat a little rain)
+75! Game Over for skipping.
I told you I'd never done that before, Brett Barner. I didn't do it.
My recent post Fighting a Case of the Mondays with District 9
It doesn't rain on our Church because God loves us best. I will pray for all of you.
Just kidding!!!
My recent post The Deceitfulness of Morality
If weather has any relation to God's love, He must have something against NE Ohio. =)