Ministry in Focus: Mentor Me Project
“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” C.S.Lewis
For today’s Ministry in Focus, I wanted to show Kyle Reed’s upcoming project called, the Mentor Me Project. There’s a great need for mentors and it feels like few people are talking about it. One of those few people is Kyle of ThoughtsAboutNothing.com. Kyle was gracious enough to share his time and story of what the Mentor Me Project is all about. We talked about mentoring (or course), a church’s role in mentoring, some great resources on mentoring, and much more. I had a great time interviewing Kyle, and I’m personally excited about this up and coming ministry!
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Hi Kyle! So tell me, generally speaking, what is the Mentor Me Project?
- (KR) The Mentor Me Project is about connecting. Generally speaking it takes two individuals and connects them inside a mentor relationship.
How did this all start?
- (KR) The project came about out of a basic longing for a mentor. I have heard from a young age that you should learn from others. After seeking these relationships out and constantly being told no, I realized that this was a problem. I wondered what a generation that goes without mentors looks like and I needed to look no further then the current generation that is leading now. We have terrible financial problems, divorce is at an all time high, and people are struggling to make it through the day. I believe this is a direct correlation to lack of mentors.
- Maybe this idea is a little selfish, but I have always looked for someone to pour into me and have always gotten turned down. I realized that I was not the only one looking for that, thousands of people were seeking these relationships. So one day on my way back from the Catalyst conference in Atlanta, I decided that this was a problem and someone should do something about it.
I completely agree. I can see how having someone with life experience can help with major (and minor) life decisions. How would you describe “mentoring”?
- (KR) Mentoring is best described when two individuals share life together. I think there has been some confusion as to what mentoring is all about. Some people see it as a very formal meeting where there is an agenda that is followed, notes are taken, and business transactions happens. Where I see mentoring happening the most is in conversations revolving around life. The times you chat about what God is teaching you, the different challenges that you are presented with everyday. That is when mentoring is happening, in the daily conversations that are intentional face-to-face life sharing.
How is mentoring different from say discipleship or counseling?
- (KR) I do not think mentoring is much different from discipleship. There is a difference between mentoring and counseling. Counseling is more of a job or a profession. There can be some mentoring going on in counseling, but mainly mentoring reflects discipleship in and the example of Jesus. Jesus was the greatest example of mentoring. He entered into discipleship relationships with many. But called us to do the same in His final command to go and make disciples of all nations. I believe this is what mentoring is all about. Not necessarily talking to someone so that they will become a disciple of you, but a disciple of Christ. This takes place in a relationship between two individuals that are seeking to learn from each other.
Interaction is huge in mentoring. We all have people we look up to, but a mentor is someone who is a part of your life as you are their’s. What do you think the state of mentoring is in now? 
- (KR) Well, I wish I could say it is going great. But in all honesty there is a huge need for mentors. The Mentor Me Project is about creating the problem or lack there of mentors. The demand is there; the supply is not.
- The best way to see this is looking at blogs. I am a huge blog reader, love them. But, you can see the state of mentoring or the lack there of inside of how many “celebrity Christian bloggers” we have these days. Part of the reason these guys have tons of readers is they have great content, but another reason I think is that people are looking for guidance and conversation. Basically they are looking for a place to connect. This is happening on blogs, but it such a surface level of connecting that it is really a problem.
- Another way to look at it is a response I got from a professor in college when I asked him to mentor me. He gave me the usual answer, he was to busy and just could not say yes. He told me that the only mentor he ever had was a dead guy. Meaning that his mentor was an author that had been dead for a long time. I tried that myself, I read every single Henri Nouwen book out there, but it still was not enough. I could not pause the book and ask him a question. The letters continued to flow and the pages continued to turn. This is the problem; we are all being mentored on a very surface level, which in turn leads to very surface people. So to sum all of that up, there is a huge lack of mentors.
This definitely sounds like something that the church should be involved in. What part do you think the church should have in mentoring?
- (KR) I think the church has a two-fold role in mentoring. There should be discipleship happening inside the church, small groups, men’s/women’s meetings, Sunday school. As well, there should be a call for mentoring to be happening outside of the church. I think we (the church) can get caught up in this idea that we are the church only on Sundays and discipleship can only happen at church (the building). It seems that the mentoring/discipleship stops after Sunday and sits idle for the rest of the week. There should be a movement from church space to one-on-one space, where you are sharing life with someone and being mentored or mentoring others.
- Ultimately, the Churches command from Jesus is to mentor and to make disciples. They should have a very active role in this process.
Great thoughts! I couldn’t agree more. What are some of your goals for the Mentor Me Project?
- (KR) Ultimately my goal is to connect people to mentors. This is a very big goal that seems to be overwhelming. But I feel that if a generation has mentors it will be passed on to the next generation. The goal is not to connect everyone to a mentor in 5 years. The goal is to connect people to a mentor over a lifetime. Another goal is to get the word out about the lack of mentors. Creating the problem so that the solution can follow.
What would you tell someone who was looking to become involved?
- (KR) There are several ways that people can get involved:
- The easiest way to get involved is to join the blog community at mentormeproject.com There will be regular post and discussion about issues dealing with mentoring, relationships, social media, discipleship and generation X and Y.
- Another way to get involved is to join me in January in praying for the Mentor Me Project for 30 days. There will be details about this on the blog on Monday December 16th.
- I am looking for opportunities to speak with churches, small groups, college campuses, or wherever else I can get a chance to talk about the lack of mentoring. This would give a chance to talk and interact about this issue. (for info on that email me: kyle@mentormeproject.com)
- In March the Mentor Me Project will have accounts available for mentoring. You will have the chance to fill out an account and sign up to mentor and be mentored.
What can you say to someone who says that they don’t have enough time, or who think that people shouldn’t listen to their advice?
- (KR) Well, I try not to ever say, “I do not have enough time.” In all reality we just are filling our time with other things. What I would say to someone that is using the time excuse or that they have no advice to give is very simple, you are already mentoring, you just do not know it. People are constantly watching you, learning from you and listening to you. Whether you know this or not, you are a mentor. Which you could say, what is the point of having one-on-one dedicated time for mentoring? There is something special that happens when it moves from you watching someone else to that person investing in watching you. Taking the time to talk with someone about their passions and what is going on in life can ultimately change that person’s future. Simply pouring into someone and telling them that they have potential can be just what someone is needing.
This shows how much mentoring is a lifestyle that is connected to being a Christian. Do you have any resources that you’d recommend for someone interested in being a mentor?
- (KR) Easy, the Bible.
- Also a couple of websites to check out:
- MentorProject.org
- NextGenMentoring.com
- Couple of books to check out:
- Mentor Like Jesus by Regi Campbell [Amazon Link]
- 40:40 Principle by Andy Christiansen
- Iron Sharpens Iron by Howard Hendricks [Amazon Link]
- Reverse Mentoring by Earl Creps [Amazon Link]
Kyle, thanks so much for taking time to answer my questions. There are some really cool things to look forward to with the Mentor Me Project!
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We’ll be keeping everyone updated on our Twitter feed about the Mentor Me Project, but for more coverage, you can also follow Kyle @kylelreed and the Mentor Me Project @MentorMeProject. If you’re interested in talking to Kyle more on the Mentor Me Project, here is his contact info:
kyle@MentorMeProject.com
MentorMeProject.com
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Excellent idea and thoughts. Thanks for the information and I pray great blessing and success to this. It’s much needed.
"It's much needed"
-Couldn't agree more.
Wow, thanks for the interview. I'm certainly interested.
I worry, though, about focusing too much on wanting a mentor instead of being a mentor. I know I have and still do struggle with this. I want someone to mentor me but never want to mentor anyone else. Going along with the theme of my blog (serving others), I'd say the focus should be on building mentors, not becoming mentored.
I'm not disagreeing with you by any means. I think you did a good job of pointing that out, but I'd just like to restate it here.
Excellent job getting this going though. I'm definitely going to be following what's happening with this and will hopefully get involved myself.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Good point marshall.
The cool thing about the mentor me project is that if you sign up to be mentored you will also be expected to mentor someone else through the boys and girls club, the mentor project (don millers project) or if you already have someone in mind.
You are right, everyone wants a mentor, but not everyone wants to mentor.
This is just getting better and better the more I hear about it (including the post over on your blog – everyone else go read it if you haven't already). :>) Thanks for the reply.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Yes, I highly encourage everyone to check out the full story of how the Mentor Me Project came about! Here's the direct link:
http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com/whats-the-story/
Love the idea, Kyle! I wish you all the best with your project as well. I will be reading the full story…..:).
Kyle, thanks for the shout out on the 40:40 Principle.